Aleah grew
up as the youngest of four siblings. She was 16 years old and had three older
brothers. It was important for a girl to do household chores and take care of
her husband; therefore, her parents were worried for Aleah because she was
quiet and constantly sought knowledge of how the world worked instead of
learning to cook and clean and take care of the house. They were worried no one
would want to marry her, and they would have to take care of her for the rest
of their lives. Her brothers, on the other hand, were ideal husbands. They were
strong and able to help the parents with keep up with the fields and animals
along with being proficient hunters and providers for the family.
Aleah
always felt like she could never measure up to her brothers. She always felt
out of place. She often spent time cleaning the house, making clothes, and
preparing meals for the family with her mother. She loved taking care of the
animals and tending to the fields, but her brothers mostly had those chores
while she was stuck in the house. Aleah despised always staying in the house.
She wanted to go out in the world and explore. She wanted to live with the
animals and learn more about how the world works, but instead she was stuck
seeing to the house, day in and day out.
One day it
was announced that the king’s daughter had been kidnapped and disappeared into the
forest. The king declared that whoever found and returned her home safely would
receive a marvelous reward. When Aleah heard about this, she was determined to
prove her abilities to her family and find the missing princess. She would no
longer be treated like a child. When she told her parents of her plan to find
the missing princess, they prohibited her from engaging in such behavior. This was
a task for men, not women. Aleah was deeply upset with her parents’ response.
The next
morning her father and brothers got ready for the journey to find the princess.
Aleah and her mother prepared food for them to take and readied warm clothes
for them to wear. Aleah was distraught about being left behind, and she felt
even more like an outcast than before. When her family had left, she decided
she was going to leave to go on the journey to find the princess too, but by
herself. She prepared her things and left that night after her mother had gone
to bed.
It started
to snow as she wandered through the forest. She had been walking for hours and
hadn’t found a place to sleep. She worried she was lost and would freeze to
death if she didn’t find someplace out of the snow. As she kept walking she saw
a large overhand in the mountain. She hurried toward it and found a large, dry cave.
She crawled into it and quickly fell asleep.
The next
day she woke up and ate some of her food. She left the cave to explore. She
returned later that evening to her cave and fell asleep quickly. She awoke to
the sounds of something screaming in terror. She ran out of the cave to find
the source of the yelping. She saw a small wolf backed into a corner by a bear.
Filled with fear she felt the urge to run the other way. The wolf cried out in terror.
Then Aleah saw its leg matted with bright red blood. She became overwhelmed
with a sense of urgency. She looked around and saw there was a boulder on the
ledge above the bear. She climbed up the side of the mountain and pushed the
boulder with all her might. The rock tumbled off the ledge and landed on the
bear’s paw. It cried out in pain and ran away. The wolf had passed out and was
starting to get buried in the snow. Aleah dragged the wolf to the cave from
which she had emerged. She built a fire and tended to the wolf’s hurt leg. She
then went back to sleep. When she awoke in the morning, she looked over to
check on the wolf. Instead of a wolf she found a young boy with a bandage on
his ankle. The boy stirred then lifted his head up and looked at Aleah.
“Hello?”
Aleah whispered in amazement.
“You saved
me,” the boy stated.
“Um, I
guess?” Aleah replied.
“No, you
did. I am forever in your debt.”
“Um, no don’t
worry about it,” Aleah shrugged, “did you see a wolf here earlier?”
“No, I don’t
see a wolf. Why were you in the woods?”
“Why were you in the woods?” she challenged.
“Could you
help take me to my family?” he asked.
“I actually
am looking for someone, but I suppose I could help you find your family, too.”
They left
the next morning to look for his family. Aleah acted as a crutch as they walked
through the forest. After hours of travelling he called out and some wolves
appeared from the trees. Aleah grabbed the boy and tried to run, but he pulled
her back. Then Aleah saw the princess among the wolves and stopped in awe. “This
is my family,” he stated.
Aleah was
confused. The princess walked up to her and took the boy on her shoulders.
“You’re
hurt,” the princess stated.
“I would be
dead if she hadn’t saved me,” he responded.
“We can
never repay your kindness,” the princess said.
“Princess,
what are you doing here?” Aleah questioned.
“I never
felt like I belonged anywhere until I met them,” she stated motioning toward
the wolves.
“They’re the protectors of the forest, both man and wolf. I joined them.”
“I want to
join you all, too.” Aleah said hastily.
“Once you
join them you can’t go back.”
Aleah
nodded. She had always wanted to live with the animals. She was finally home.
Author's Note: I read Santal Folklore by C. H. Bompas this past week. It was stories about animals that had very human characteristics so I thought I would incorporate that into my story. Except I actually made the wolves part human. I was trying something different so it isn't my favorite story that I've written, but it's different.
There's a nice tension here of human and beast as equaling outcast, and the wolf-man group at the end shows this nicely while also delivering a good message of "being an outcast is okay, since you'll find your own pack in time." I wish it were more apparent that the wolves at the end were humanlike, but it doesn't detract from the message.
ReplyDeleteAt the end, I did have a question of what happened to Aleah's brothers? Where did they end up on their journeys? I also think some descriptive imagery could help add flavor to the story and additional dialogue in the beginning to make the addition of dialogue at the end seem more natural.
Do not be so hard on yourself, I love your story. You did an amazing job. I have one question- why did the boulder not kill the bear- wouldn't injuring it just piss it off? Also, you have a problem with forgetting commas like "The next morning her father and brothers" there needs to be a comma in between morning and her father. There is a few other introductory phrases that have similar problems. As Collin stated in his comment, descriptive imagery would be a nice touch, it would just add an extra demension. But I think your story is great without it!
ReplyDeleteThis story has a very Ghibli-esque feel, in my opinion. If you're not happy with it, you could always edit it a little more--I think you're off to a great start. The plot is great, memorable, and you brought a lot to the base story by adding more dialogue and commentary.
ReplyDeleteStories like this have the potential to get really popular, in my opinion. Everyone like wolves, everyone likes princesses, everyone likes humans who can shapeshift into wolves--plus, there's a powerful theme of transcending gender/social roles. Great job!
That was a really cute story. The way she finally ended up having a sense of belonging and she finally found a place she could fit in. I just wonder if she ever goes back to her family? Do they look for her? Do they find her? I wonder how they reacted if they did see her with the wolves?
ReplyDelete